Thursday, July 2, 2009

Alarm Systems

So Wednesday I get up when my burglar alarm started blaring at 4:30 in the morning. Off goes the ear piercing, blood curdling noise and like a moron I get up and run out into the kitchen with no glasses on so I can't see. But alas I am armed with a remote control in my hand (?) I can't focus on the numbers on the key pad so I have to go back to the bedroom all the while the alarm is blaring! The cat is staring at me with big wide eyes and is fluffed up to the max. So I get the alarm off and don't seem to worry about the flashing red light. I find the side door is opened. Ok, now I am nervous. Did I mention I am HOME ALONE! I am switching on every light in the house, running from room to room, upstairs/downstairs all the while talking to the fluffed up cat. My house is lit up like a christmas tree. I go from room to room and check things knowing the alarm company will call any second so I feel somewhat safe. If I don't answer they call my son and the police. The alarm company, that will remain nameless to protect the innocent, calls and wants to know if I am alright.....well I tell them......"I am home alone and my side door is open" Now any bad guys in my house know I am home alone! Duh! I tell him... "I am going room to room and closet to closet and there is no one here but I don't know why my side door is open. Someone had to open it! But I don't see anyone." So he says "Have a nice night and good bye!" Thanks a whole freaking lot. And I pay you WHY? And how am I going to have a nice night now with my heart beating out of my chest. It is 4:30 in the morning! I bet this guy's father was a dentist who would ask you all kinds of thought provoking questions when your face was shot of with novacaine and your mouth was stuffed with cotton! What a Ma-roon as Bugs Bunny would say. So what do working women do when they have free (he he) time......I do dishes and fold clothes and have long since locked the side door.......I also got the alarm book out and read what the flashing red light means (reset) and reset the system.

......so now that time has elapsed and because I need to continue to be able to be home alone this is what I have convinced myself has happened. I worked til 9. PM that is, after starting the day by leaving the house at 7:15 AM. So much the life of a 9 to 5 secretary but that is a WHOLE other story. My routine is to come home and come inside, bring the mail in, etc. I secure the side door and I then go out back using the back door, turn off the pool, turn on the outside light and come back in, double check all is locked up and alarm everything. Tuesday night, I was tired and went straight out back. I turned off the pool, turned on the light, then come in the side door and stayed in. I am thinking that because I had two large tote bags, (full of work!!!) one on each shoulder and was tired, I only pushed the door to and not shut. I disturbed the routine. I came in, starting an intelligent conversation with the cat and proceeding to flip on the TV. I am guessing that the a/c off and on jarred the door, or the cat, or a vibration caused the unsecured door to open.

I go to work, feel Wednesday's earthquake (for real, epicenter in the next state over), work late and meet members of my Board at the local diner. As I drive to the diner I am figuring that I have locked any possible bad guy in my house for the day, they have eaten all my food, tried on my clothes and watched my movies and they are still in my house because my alarm never went off again when they grew tired and left. I am telling my friends and one tells me how her the dogs got all freaky at her house around 4:30 a.m. and wondered if it was a tremor before the earth quake.

Hmmmm... what are the chances that I don't shut the door tightly on the one night in 20 years we have an earthquake? I should have bought a lottery ticket I guess. One thing I don't know is what I thought I was going to do with the remote control I was carrying around. And it wasn't even for the tv, it was the remote for the ceiling fan. Did I think I would laser them or sound wave them with the controller? Did I intend to spin the fan to warp speed at the bad guys like some ninja star?

I sit here Wednesday night and of course I am seeing things move out of the corner of my eye and I know that I will have a sleepless night! I have checked each door at least three times! I even used the deadblots! Had I not worked so late I would have had my son come over with his two dogs to search my house but I was sure he was long since in bed because he goes to work so early. I decided to poor myself a margarita.

As a PS......do you think the margarita worked last night..........NO! We had to have one of those mother of all thunder storms that shook the house and rattled the windows..........tonight I will sleep or I will live the words I tell others....sleep is over-rated! Since I am off tomorrow, I just might have to stitch all night!

Boy will I be glad when my husband returns. First thing we will do is find those ugly alarm stickers and put them on the windows. That will at least save any bad guys the trouble of activating the alarm and scaring the you know what out of me (and them)

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