So many times I have thought I had my finger on what is wrong with me. As if a finger could actually cover all the avenues. I mean what is wrong in the sense that I can't seem to get everything done. You know that overwhelmed feeling. Like your to-do list is closing in on you. It is in the sense that I can't seem to concentrate to get things accomplished. Yes, the bar is set at a self-imposed high level of expectation but that is nothing new. I have re-identified what I already knew and it has little to do with the number of things I have on my list.........it is not that I can't work on more than one thing at a time, it is that sometimes I can't focus on something new when I know I have things I have not finished.
Take for instance this website that I am supposed to be developing. I have been hitting a road block. Everytime I devote time to working on the site, I read and reread the info and seem to have my brain swim. I have put in 12 to 15 hours or more of struggling with what someone had established prior. Everything seems to be in place, I hit publish and have a beautiful blank page launched to the information highway! It has been like walking in on someone else's programming. My logic and their logic are not the same. So the decision was made to move to Yahoo as a host site and start from stratch. I have to report I have made progress this weekend. That progress was made easier by my first spending several hours sorting and filing papers. See that is a job I have known was hanging over my head. It was subconciously out there nagging my creative juices like the tap tap tap of a dripping faucet. I guess it is like I don't want to start something new until I finish something.
This does not hold true for my household projects or stitching projects. .......I do not have a banner calling me the "queen of unfinished projects" for nothing.
And about that list I have of the things I want and need to do.......why is it that other don't have a list or if they do, have only two or three things on it? Does it have to do with being brought up that if you weren't busy you weren't productive?
So today, I did it all. I worked in the yard for 2 - 3 hours. I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. I stitched a couple of hours. And while it poured and thundered, and I watched old movies, I filed and shredded personal papers. And I made some much needed website progress.