Friday, August 28, 2009

Keep them guessing!

I created and maintained a spreadsheet for four weeks to try to illustrate to my boss what I do all day. Not only did it tell me I was averaging 50-52 hours a week - which I knew; it showed me where I could pick up time. I have been so busy helping others at the expense of not allowing enough time for me to do my work. I can blame part on my position.  As I once had to tell the CEO after being mis-quoted on a comment....A person in my position would be deemed uncooperative if I didn't help others...... Anyway, there are all those minutes here and there to be re-couped. Easier said than done because I feel a responsibilities to correct things that are wrong. Some have noticed and think that I am pissed at one of them. Think anyone could ask me? Someone could just ask me why I have been quiet. But no, that would be too easy.

Focusing on my work has also helped with some family issues. If I am absorbed in my work then at least for those few hours of the day I am not dwelving on these issues.

It is a very weird way to get respect but people have backed off with the non-sensical demands and sometimes selfish demands on me because they actually see me as busy. Everyone is busy! so why was I the one always there to help and be counted on? I was the one staying late or taking work home and others were leaving on time day after day. I was thinking what is wrong with me that I can't get it done??? I feel a sense of failure if I say no when asked for help. I need to realize I can't do it all.

It is ashame but favors done do become rights expected and all the little niceties I bestowed over the years have given others carte blanche to use me. You do teach people how to treat you and I have always been there for everyone never saying I was too busy; putting my needs last.

It is all my own doing by trying to be everything to everyone. I am putting myself first and it is making people wonder. It will be a period of adjustment for all and I am sure I will fall right back into the Miss Helen Helper mode eventually. For now......I can use the alone time at lunch to stitch. Sounds like a win/win to me!!!!

....stay tuned for episode 3 of the soap opera.

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