The world did not tilt

A new start and not of a cross stitch nature.  My New Year's Resolution was vetted out in my exhausted little brain in early December.   It is simple and not a big deal, but oh so far reaching.   Simply put, I proclaimed that in 2012, I would be nicer to myself.   What?   Isn't that selfish you might ask?   In my case it is the exact opposite.  It finally sunk in.....if what you are doing isn't working, it is time to change it up.   So I made this promise to myself to not over-extend myself.   To not feel obligated that I have to say YES to everything!  To not feel that if I don't jump and do it, it won't get done. 

I have this inability to say no for fear that I will disappoint.   This quirk to my personality only puts me behind the 8-ball writing reports, doing financials, filing grants, running fundraisers, and basically running around like a chicken with no sense and no head and getting angry at myself for not being able to do it all.  Internal perfectionist.  Sound like any of you?   This is compounded by the Monday Morning Quarterbacks that walk in and tout all they do and criticize what has been done.   It makes my blood boil and just makes me more frustrated.   Look people, you are all retired!   Can you say that sometimes I was an Angry Bird or a Sad Bird?, probably.

It is not always Board/Committee type work, it is sometimes pleasurable things.   This past fall I was away 7 out of 8 weekends.   I mean away overnight  or longer type away.   All things I wanted to do.  Can you do the math and add up the things around the house not getting done?   I do this time after time and put pressure on myself.   It made my brain hurt and made me push myself harder to get it all done and made for one very tired me.  Please someone let me hitch a free ride sometime!

Fast forward to my Board Meeting this week for my arts group.   I am the youngster of this Board. These women are all 20 plus years my senior.  When I call them my 'old lady friends' it is because they are!   So, back to this week. All of them chattering to each other my dear sweet little old ladies were saying that "....after all we will each be 80 in a couple of years and it is time to pass the baton..."   What do I hear from across the room........"how about Robin?"     They didn't think I was listening since I was taking minutes and writing checks, and general having my head spin like Linda Blair, but I was!    Out burst a load, "HELL NO!" from my mouth.   There was actually silent for what seemed like forever and then one started to chuckle and then another and someone said it wasn't fair to dump everything on Robin since she is the only young person to show up........ It has always been like Mikey in the Life commercial.......give it to Robin, she'll do it! 

So I said NO and I actually think I gained some respect.  And guess what, they still like me.  The birds have not fallen from the sky,  the rivers are not flowing the wrong direction, the sun will continue to set each evening and rise again in the morning, and the world is still spinning on its axis.  And even better, it will be easier and I will be less vocal saying NO the next time. 

Maybe I will now be able to cross more than some WIP's off my to-do list.

Words of advice that I have given before but never listened to myself  .......If you continue to do the same thing and expect a different result, that is insanity.......change something in your approach if you want a different outcome..... I am doing it! 

May the bluebird of happiness fly into your life in 2012!